Is a "compulsive liar" a true sociopath?

A liar does not necessarily mean they are a sociopath however do have sociopathic tendencies. Within the boundaries of society and our super ego it is wrong to lie however the compulsive liar does not do the right but the wrong and knowingly. This may be because they were taught to lie as a child for survival and are taught from a young age that it is ok or it could be because they lack the ability to deal with the consequences of the truth and hide behind a lie to make things easier on themselves. This person may have personal issues that they have never dealt with and will find it hard to cope in a general society and have meaningful relationships. Their lies should not be excused or ignored. Do not forget that a true sociopath will lie to get out of a lie. They are experienced con artists and can seem convincing.

How can I even consider my boyfriend or husband a sociopath when he shows me how much he loves me? (3% of all males are found to be sociopathic)

First of all you have to remember that marriage, in legal terms, is a piece of paper that acknowledges you are a legal couple. Remember that a sociopath can go through the motions to serve his/her purpose including walking down the isle. Even if that means showing you how much they love you because they know this is what they need to do in order to get what they want. Their bottom line motive is not to love you the way you love or be your equal but to manipulate you and keep you in their grips for their own needs. There are many people, mostly women, that think just because someone shows them or tell them they love them it excuses the bad behavior. The lacking of self esteem and confidence in ones self can attract a sociopath into their lives. This does not mean that everyone who is effected by a sociopath has low self esteem and low self confidence because that would mean that everyone in this world does. It means that people make excuses for others' bad behaviors when that person with the bad behavior is fulfilling your need of companionship. If this is your case just remember that it will come to an end eventually and unfortunately statistics say that you will be the loser in the end. Weather emotionally raped or robbed financially you will lose in the end and for what? For having someone, the wrong someone, in your life to fulfill your needs of companionship. "I can't do any better" is running through your head. Try thinking "I can do better" and just maybe you will. The sociopath is the one who cannot do any better. They need people like this in order to survive and fulfill their needs of sex, manipulation, and self esteem. Some may have the need to abuse, torture, rape, stalk and kill. They will not save you. You need to save yourself.

What if I cannot do any better and will be alone for the rest of my life without this person? They are everything to me and/or we have children together.

To the sociopath you are nothing but a means of financial and emotional support. A person with a conscience deserves to be with a person with a conscience. Women and men alike feel there is nobody else out there for them but the person who makes their life miserable. Not true. If you know the facts about a sociopath and you are involved with one then you are putting yourself and your loved ones in the line of fire. You are demeaning yourself and giving your one chance at life, that we know of, up for someone else who really does not care about you.

What if he needs me and cannot cope without me in his life?

Is it really your problem? If you choose to live your "one" life with a liar and someone who uses you then so be it. You only have yourself to blame for your misery and do not try to blame the person who needs you because it was not their choice. It was your choice. The worst thing about getting old is having regrets. To get through another day peacefully, while knowing the person you share your life with romantically does not have your best interest at heart, is a waste of your precious time.

How do I get out of a relationship with a sociopath?

This is a tuff question to answer because you are already involved with a dangerous person. Getting rid of someone who does not care why; can be tricky and risky. Seeking help from friends and family is a start. Do not allow yourself to be alone and if needed get a restraining order and inform the police of your dilemma. Unfortunately we cannot always depend on the police to be there at the very second we need them so you cannot completely rely on them or the restraining order because to a sociopath it does not mean a thing. It can only work if they break the restraining order putting them in police custody and giving you peace of mind.  Past experiences have shown that people have physically moved to get away from the danger. Change the locks on your doors and have a bottle of mace with you at all times. Use your car alarm when going from your door to your car just to make noise. Become a liability for the perpetrator or sociopath proving to them that they can no longer take advantage of you and you are a waste of their time. Be on guard at all times. Change your phone number and make yourself unavailable. Making changes may make some sociopaths mad and angry therefore you must seek professional assistance in order to protect yourself and your loved ones to successfully get out of the relationship.

Are all people who manipulate a true sociopath?

Of course NOT! A sociopath will manipulate you and everyone else in their life knowingly and consciously. A normal person such as yourself may subconsciously manipulate a situation for a number of reasons but once it is realized a feeling of regret and remorse will overcome you. This is your conscience speaking to you. The super ego part of your personality. A sociopath will never feel this way. They are incapable because they lack the super ego part of their personality.

People manipulate for different reasons, consciously, in the professional worlds as well as their personal world to get ahead in life. These people know what they are doing and do not intentionally cause harm to others.

Do you suspect your child has sociopathic tendencies?

These tendencies will start at a very young age and usually the first sign is when the child lies when they are first able to speak. It is indicated and apparent that they do not know the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie. At this point in their lives they are the victim. The only way to teach a sociopathic child how to cope in society is through consistent reward and discipline starting at the first signs of this behavioral disorder. Sociopaths are very smart people and if not trained from a young age, in order to live in a society they were born into with rules, they will use their intelligence in a negative way as an adult causing harm to the general society, the family and themselves and are no longer the victim. Unfortunately the parents are most likely to blame if it gets this far but nobody really knows if even the most disciplined sociopaths, reared from childhood, will not change their ways once out of the control of the parents. Seeking professional help from the beginning can prove beneficial.

Stereotypically speaking, if the kids bad is this true of the family?

After reading this website and learning the meaning of a true sociopath you would know that this behavioral disorder has not been proved to be hereditary. Now, put yourself in their shoes. Your child has ASPD but you and the rest of your family are normal. You know that medically speaking it was not your fault that the child was born lacking gray matter in his brain or whatever causes ASPD medically. If it was your choice your child would have been born perfectly normal. It is a handicapped child. Medicine can be taken to control parts of the child's behavior however a sociopathic adult feels no need for medication and tends not to take it. Even a psychiatrist cannot always detect a sociopath because the sociopath plays by their own rules and are very convincing. On the other hand if a sociopathic child is born into the family and the family is dysfunctional to begin within most cases the sociopathic child will not properly learn how to cope in society as an adult and are not disciplined consistently. This can identify the kid coming from a "bad" family

It is most likely that if you have a parent with sociopathic tendencies you come from a broken home of divorce.  Whatever the case may be you must know that a sociopath, parent or not, can be detrimental to your growth as a child and will not put your needs ahead of their own.  It is unfortunate that as children we automatically love our parents or caretaker and do not always know the difference between good and evil until it is pointed out to us.   A sociopathic parent who raises a child puts the child at risk under the Type III Sociopath, the dyssocial sociopath while raising a child to be just like them.  It does not mean that you will turn out to be a sociopath but the possibility is there. For a better detailed description of what a sociopathic parent, mother or father, is capable of read these two books:

                   "Small Sacrifices" by Ann Rule         (a sociopathic mother)
                   "If You Really Loved Me" by Ann Rule (a sociopathic father)

These stories are a worst case scenarios of a sociopathic parent but are typical.

Both of these stories have been turned into movies and can be periodically  found on Lifetime TV.

I have sociopathic tendencies, does that mean I am a sociopath?

Nobody is perfect and we all try to survive in one way or another as human beings but if you have sociopathic tendencies and have a conscience that means you will make a conscious effort to change your ways and correct your tendencies by seeking professional assistance from a psychologist that specialized in this area. No matter what the tendencies a person with a conscience can make a conscious choice to change their ways. We learn from our mistakes and society is our grandest teacher of them all. 

How do we cope in our places of employment and general society as a whole?

Look at the statistics again. 1 of every 25 people are considered sociopathic and everybody will be effected by a sociopath during their lifetime. In order to change these statistics the world as a whole must wake up and learn the facts about life around them. Sociopaths have existed since the beginning of human life. It is something that we have lived with not knowing the truth about who our criminals are both known and silent. Silent criminals are repeatedly accused and guilty of emotional rape. Known criminals are accused and found guilty of public crimes such as stealing, child molestation, kidnapping, physical rape, torture and murder. Stories we see on the news everyday. The sociopath is considered the most dangerous type of criminal out there. Kidnapping ones own child, murdering a loved one or someone they know for something they did, and physically harming a loved one do not fall into this category and are called domestic crimes. Sure, these crimes can be at the hand of a sociopath, one who thinks they have a right to take someone's life or controlling another human being. Nobody has a right to take another's' life no matter who they think they are or their reason. (This does not include the death penalty)

Coping in today's society has become a task for everyone especially to victims' of crime but having the additional knowledge, in order to better protect yourself, can only help you and maybe save you from becoming a statistic.

Learn the value of life. Keep your eyes and ears open at all times. Listen to your instincts. Look around you when you are out and about so that others will know you are aware of your physical surroundings. Have your keys in your hand when walking to your vehicle and keep your finger on your alarm and if you feel threatened for any reason activate your alarm until you are at your vehicle. Learn about someone before getting involved from both a professional and personal standpoint. Utilize public record information about a potential employee or company that you intend to hire. Keep your doors locked at all times in your car and your home. Do not take any chances because it may be that one time you were careless. It usually is.

What is the value of your life?

There is no one single answer to this question but it goes to say for everyone in this world that as far as we know we only get this one chance to live on earth with the loved ones that are with us now. There is not enough, if any, evidence that we will live a life again as we know it. When our bodies get old we die like all living creatures unless our lives are cut short due to disease, illness or accidental death. Life is short and the older you get the faster time goes by. We should listen to our older relatives who have lived through the phases of life we have not yet reached. To a person of 18 the only thing that may matter is having an education and a significant other. The small things still matter and can mold us to be the people we are at the age of 30. To a person of 30 the only thing that may matter is raising kids or our careers. To a person of 50 the only thing that may matter is retirement and doing those things we always wanted to do like take a cruise around the world. To a person of 80 the only thing that may matter is family. The little things do not matter anymore.  Life is a big circle and keeps going and going no matter what happens to us individually. We each live our own lives with people in them and we are responsible for our own actions. We are given choices in certain parts of the world and are responsible for those choices. In parts of the world where people are not given choices from what they will wear that day to how many kids they can have in a lifetime when it comes down to it they are being controlled and for whatever reason their lives are not being valued. If you have the freedom of choice do not take it for granted because the only way you will learn its value is to have it taken away.

How to value your life and others':

It is all about respect. "Treat others' the way you want to be treated" is one of the biggest lessons we learn as children and rings true as an adult. Adults put up with far less from people than teens or children do. Learning from the wiser as a child can prove to be helpful when growing into adulthood. We think we know it all when we are teenagers. It is normal to think that as a teenager while going through puberty. The thrill of driving, shopping, working, and socializing with whomever you want without a parents to look over your shoulder. The truth is when you are an adult, your parents are not the only ones' still looking over your shoulder. Society does. You are judged as an individual person and are responsible for your own actions. Mom and dad cannot save you from mistakes you make against society.

Getting behind a wheel when sleepy, intoxicated or on drugs is a disrespect towards yourself and society. A person half asleep or on drugs or alcohol cannot guarantee themselves nor society that they will not run their vehicle into another vehicle causing harm or death to an innocent person. Think about how you would feel if you were responsible for another's' death or injury. You would feel stupid and sorry for what you did and your conscience will not allow you to forget.

Date rape drugs has been proven to cause death and mental harm. Slipping someone a date rape drug in order to get them "in the mood" is only a manipulation tactic for premeditated rape. Selfish and disrespectful towards yourself and society. Again, you would feel stupid and sorry for what you did and your conscience will not allow you to forget.

Doing drugs and habitually drinking around your kids is another way of telling and showing them that it is alright for them to do it to no matter what you tell them. "You have to be a certain age to be able to decide if you will drink or smoke dope." Not true. What if you are getting high or drunk around your kids and because of your lectures they decide to go out and do it with friends, behind your back, and somehow have an accident or get hooked onto more drugs like cocaine or crack to get a bigger high? You would feel stupid and sorry for what you did and your conscience will not allow you to forget.

Even though you know your conscience will make you feel regretful, remorseful and guilty it does not mean these feelings of regret, remorse, and guilt will ever go away. That is the price we pay especially when we do something we know we could have prevented in the first place. Common sense and an education of life gives us the answers within ourselves in order to make life as good as possible. Having regrets of being indirectly responsible for someone else losing their life or turning to "bad things" for pleasure will last a lifetime and is reason enough to try to prevent it from happening in the first place. Do not let it come to the day you say to yourself, "I could have prevented it if only....." If it was prevented in the first place the "bad deed" would not have happened. There are things we have control over and things we do not have control over. We are only human and each of us have to acknowledge that we are not perfect and are allowed to make mistakes but mistakes we learn to regret later could have usually been prevented to begin with. Prevented with common everyday knowledge. Be lucky you were born with a conscience because a sociopath cannot even begin to comprehend these facts.